Well, yesterday we went to the local theme park. It was approximately 40,000 degrees outside, but we lived to tell the tale.

My kids, like myself, have an abhorrence of any ride with a circular trajectory, when that trajectory is more violent than a Ferris wheel. Jess insisted that Emma ride a roller coaster this year, but Emma is still traumatized by her experience when she was ten. Emma’s a tough, adventurous kid; but she screamed throughout the ride. When the short ride was finally over, we wobbled our way past the counter where we could buy pictures of ourselves on the ride. I was wearing an encouraging Dad-smile that says, “Come on, this is fun!” Emma’s face was a mask of abject terror. I have never, before or since, seen a person look more frightened.

So this time we did the safe things: the log flume ride, the Model-T car drive, the Ferris wheel. Emma and Becca went up first, and soon Katie and I found ourselves at the tippy top of the Ferris wheel admiring the surrounding view, a delightful breeze lifting our hair. When we came down Jess was flushed with heat. “Let’s do lunch,” she said, “and then the water park.” Okay.

Apparently half the people in the Western Hemisphere had the same idea. (You are part of the other half, which was at work.) There was hardly room for water in the Lazy River (a swirling self-propelled stream) or the two wave pools, and the water-slide queues snaked down the stairs almost to the ground. Halfway through the afternoon, while Abby came shrieking down the kiddie-slide for the eighteenth time, I felt my shoulder getting sunburned. Impossible, thought I; I’ve four layers of sunscreen on. Nay, Captain, this radiation’s so strong it’ll burn through steel. Turn around and toast the other side! So I did.

In the evening we straggled like zombies back to the car. How delicious to leave the crowds behind, and come home to our home in the silent woods. The evening breeze was a blessing after the heat of the day, the dogs were frantic with welcome, the ducks quacked to see us (they think we’re bringing them greens), and I felt so good I buzzed up half a cord of firewood and had it split and stacked before Jess called me for dinner.