We had Emma shoot this after I was done taking pictures of all the kids that I posted yesterday. I’m not much to look at, but I love to look at Jessica. I love talking to her, being with her, and sharing all the adventures of life with her.

Fourteen years, seven children, four states, three houses, two jobs, and one terrific life together. I had no idea when I was younger that I could be so happy.

What makes a great marriage? Well, I’d say it starts when you both learn to put your spouse’s needs before your own.

Let me give an illustration. Last night I was tired after a long day at work. Jess had to run to the church twice, and the kids were hungry and cranky. I could have sat down to read, leaving her to take care of us when she got home. She wouldn’t have complained at all, but I didn’t want to put her through that. I threw a batch of clothes in the washer, made spaghetti, set the table, and emptied the dishwasher. When my wife got home, the sauce was almost done and the house smelled delicious: I wanted her to understand as soon as she returned that she didn’t have to do all the things that were waiting for her when she left. After supper I cleared the table, started the bathtub for the younger kids, and got two of the older ones to help me fold five batches of laundry. (We dump everything on the sofa, set the timer for seven minutes, and go at it hammer and tongs. Usually we can get the whole pile folded almost within the set time, except for socks and underwear.) I had no more thought of writing about this in my blog today than I expected thanks or praise for doing it. That’s how life goes sometimes. She does the same for me.

You have to think of the other person before you think of yourself. It’s the golden rule, I guess; and I can’t think of any more basic law of happiness in marriage than that. As we move forward through life, I consistently try to build her up and compliment her, and in her own way she does the same for me. How much more happiness we gain when we give it to others than when we seek it for ourselves! We cannot take happiness; we can only give it away, and then it comes to us of its own accord.

* It means Doug and Jess, of course. My Jeep’s license plates say DUGNJES, and the BGF’s say JESNKDS.