Beautiful has been doing this for me since we were married. I just called a local franchise barber to see how much it would cost to get my hair cut: $11.95. Which was less than I was expecting. When I was a bachelor going to school in California I’m pretty sure it was in the $15 range. So I’ll go with that number, and pretend that the cost of haircuts everywhere we’ve lived for the last 14 years (the time that’s elapsed since my first homemade haircut) has stayed precisely at $12.

My hair grows fast; I prefer a trim every two weeks, but for the sake of this calculation let’s say every 2.5 weeks, or 21 times a year x $12 per trim = $252 x 14 years = $3,528. Let’s add the three years I lived in SoCal: 21 times a year x $15 per trim = $315 x 3 years = $945. Add the money saved since I was married: $4,473 saved in haircuts.

And that’s just me.

And I gave the barbers the benefit of the doubt.

And we have seven children.

Beautiful cuts their hair too, and I think it looks great. (After all, look at all the practice she’s had on me.) She goes to a professional haircutting place occasionally, but she deserves it.